When I started doing healing and energy work, it seemed straightforward – natural even – to find and release the inner patterns that created fear, suffering, and inner conflict in my own life. Maybe I’m glossing over the early days or being terribly immodest, but it has always seemed fairly easy to get to the root of problems in myself in the same way I do on others.
It has always puzzled me, therefore, to encounter gifted healers and teachers who are extraordinarily insightful and powerful when working with others, but have ongoing problems in relationships, are in emotional pain, or have big egos or money challenges themselves.
A few years ago, for example, I had the benefit of eating dinner with a well-known healer capable of effecting powerful instant transformations. Throughout the afternoon, I marvelled as this man worked his way through a packed room of 200 rapt participants, healing problems left and right. With unbelievable speed he quickly identified people’s core issues and energetically dismantled them from the front of the room. I watched open-mouthed as problems seemed to improve or disappear on the spot. It was one of my first up close experiences with someone so quick, in the flow, insightful and gifted.
Imagine my surprise then to find, over dinner, that this healing phenomenon was guarded, cuttingly-sarcastic and downright cruel to those he had brought with him. I couldn’t reconcile how a person could so clearly see and dismantle emotional patterns in others that he seemed to be in the grip of himself.
While I no doubt still have pockets of deep unconsciousness myself, it occurred to me that perhaps part of the answer is that its just not as easy for some healers to see, own or dismantle their own ’stuff’ as my experience would lead me to assume.
If this is the case, I can’t imagine how unsettling that would be. Its something I’m very interested in understanding better. Partly because, (here’s comes my immodesty again), I believe I could help.
So here’s my question. If you are a gifted healer still deeply struggling in some areas of your life, would you be willing to let me know what that’s like for you? How does it feel to release others from suffering while still experiencing it yourself? And do you have any idea of what or who could change all of that for you?
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
It isn’t something that the left brain can understand, though it desperately wants to, because that IS the thing that stands in the way of releasing it.
If you don’t experience it…be content. Is it anything that needs to be changed, or is expansion, acceptance and realization at issue?
Know that the “healer” as well as each and every one of us is doing the best that we are able given what we have realized to this point.
And yes, if you have a solution, I would be most interested to hear about it
I love it that you wrote about this phenomena since I have been puzzling it for the past week. The situation you’ve described above is something that’s been on my mind because I’ve seen it also and it’s troubled me. We can do healing work but we can also hurt one another and the healing work does not negate hurt.
For me, it is easier to be detached and therefore more effective in work with others than if I find myself in “fear or anxiety”. That’s my own hot button. But I am committed to awareness and being aware of my ego instead of “being present and in heart space” in working with others.
And I am holding onto hope that as we reach out to one another for healing or otherwise, that we can do so from a place of love and honor.
Hmmm. It would seem odd to me if a healer were not personally living the benefits of their work. For example, it would be totally out of integrity for me as a teacher of Abundance to be broke. However … just because we’re healers or spiritual teachers doesn’t mean we have to be perfect in all areas, does it?
I definitely have “stuff” I’m working on (although, like you, I tend to resolve my own issues pretty darn successfully) and if there’s something I’m not yet aware of, I’m sure it will rise into my consciousness in perfect and Divine timing, to be addressed appropriately.
I think this phenomenon you describe must be because the healer in question is not CONSCIOUS of their issue, or are choosing to ignore it … either scenario makes them unlikely to seek assistance.
One of my spiritual teachers – amazing woman – went through a financial crisis linked to a sudden divorce and had to pretty much abandon her work. In talking to her a few years later, she knew about the issue, but chose to ignore until it bit her in the you-know-what. And she knows that it was a priceless experience she learned a lot from. She also fully acknowledges she wasn’t ready to address it, even as the fit was hitting the shan.
Sometimes we’re just not ready to deal with our “stuff” – and that, too, is perfect.
Blessings,
Andrea
A great post. I relate totally to what is being said.
I struggle with self confidence and de-valuing my gift as a healer.
I also fear rejection that keeps me from putting myself out to the world fully to be recognized as a gifted healer.
I am totally aware of all of my struggles and where they originate from. I even suffered from panic attacks for a number of years and managed to overcome them on my own.
I find when I am living fully in my truth life comes very easy to me, when I put up restrictions I begin to find challenges that are unnecessary.
Thanks for sharing this post.
Jennifer
Thanks for sharing, Jenn. You definitely are not alone in having the experiences you describe.
If you care to share, I’m interested in knowing more of where you are at right now. For example, does it feel like you are at a critical decision point about fully putting yourself out there? I’m trying to get a sense of the most pressing challenges facing gifted healers like yourself right now…
i appreciate your blog on this topic,… I am gifted in working with others, using my joy and laughter to inspire and uplift and my gift of touch to allow for instant change…..however in my own life I seem to come back to the same place in my marriage, of being somehow willing to settle for so little, and somehow settling for so little in many areas of my life. I am very frustrated particularly today….and came across your blog! I am very self aware, and clearly not aware of part of my vibrations which allow for all of this. I too suffered form panic attacks for many years, I did not know that was what they were and I thought I was crazy however they are what led me to the self improvement world which were I come from was not part of the culture. Many days I feel excited and inspired and love to be creative, and then have days like today which stymie me from putting my self out there, because what would I do if I had put myself out and couldn’t get out of bed!
I look forward to your feedback…my best
sorry don’t have a website:
Here’s the deal – several years ago i was invited to south america to work with a gifted healer & psychic – i’ve been told over & over again i have the gift for doing hands on energy healing & although i’m not psychic i am very intuitive so that when i’m with someone asking me to help i sometime instantly channel. I’ve shied away from actually doing this as a practice (energy healing) since i struggle with my own emotional/sprititual pain – having lost my house/home when my husband died & family business etc. (for example)(which includes life savings). Although i look younger & energetically am younger than my physical age – most people can’t tell (that i’m in emotional pain most of the time) I know that doing some aspect of healing is where i need to be – but haven’t found my way there yet – & at this writing it occurs to me that i don’t trust myself enough or haven’t enough confidence to move forward with this. Who do i think can help me you ask? I think sometimes i need a miracle really.
regards, Debi