This morning I challenged one of my clients who has a powerful, far-reaching vision for herself to do something downright practical.
This client strongly wants to become someone very different from the person she has always been. She can describe the qualities she wants to embody in great detail, but she gets snagged in the fact that she’s never known what its like to be the person she wants to become. Her dream feels completely foreign to her and so seem daunting and, frankly, unreachable.
So this morning I challenged my client to take a small but significant step into the person she wants to be.
I asked her to go buy new underwear.
Not just any new underwear, mind you. I asked her to carefully, deliberately and intentionally choose the kind of underwear that the person she wants to be would wear.
I said they didn’t have to be expensive (but might be). I said they didn’t have to be fancy (but might be.) They might also be colored or solid, thong, boyfriend or brief. The only criteria is that these underwear utterly suit the person she wants to be but has not yet become.
Since my client has already written a thoughtful list of her ideal self’s qualities, I suggested she take that list to the store with her. It doesn’t matter how long it takes for her to find these underwear, (we’re working together all year, so she has time), but when she finds them, they must absolutely feel that they have been chosen by and for the person she wants to be.
The secret I know, and which she has yet to experience, is that the person she wants to be already lives and breathes inside of her, so a task like this one simply draws that version of her out in one small way into full expression in real life. The physicalness of it will allow her to experience one aspect of that person… right away. Its a small, but significant step.
I also asked her to expect and be willing to feel uncomfortable emotions as she takes on this task. Plenty of uncomfortable feelings always arise when we dare to become new. Fortunately, she and I both know that the person she is becoming is someone who can handle powerfully uncomfortable emotions.
Later, once she has the underwear, we’ll talk about what to do next. (Later, I may even tell you what my plan is. But I don’t want to spoil it for her by sharing it here now.)
So my question to you is, Are YOU wearing the underwear of the person you want to be this year? And if not, do you want to see who you’d become if you do?
***
PS. I’m working with this client for all of 2010 through my Audio-Email Coaching Program. If you want the kind of personal support from me that she’s committed to having for herself, its available for you too!
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Perfect advice, Wendy. I have been my own client/coach on this same desire/challenge for a while now and am unfolding nicely. Re-Creating yourself is liberating, and not that it has to occur for everyone, but old junk will almost assuredly arise. In addition to her feeling, list, and your suggestions and I might be jumping ahead here, she may want to write a script for the life this person leads. We became who we became, so we can become who we want to become. Telling the story the way we want it to be with little to no attention to “what appears to be,” combined with ME is the fastest way to transformation I have ever encountered. Ask, Trust, Expect, Receive. Transform away…
Perfect! Practical and yet pivotal! I find it’s when I start acting out the part I want to embody that everything shifts to reveal that I am embodying that very reality by choosing to act out the part.
Thank you for you!
K.
I’m loving this! After trading in a minivan for a ‘cool car’ seven years ago, I found I needed an entire wardrobe makeover. The ‘mom’ jeans and turtlenecks no longer ‘felt right’. Much to the relief of my hubby and kids, I moved on this impulse and donated all remnants of that former ‘costume’, trading in high waists for low-risers and boot cut jeans, along with the more fashionable tops to match. I’ve continued to have my wardrobe changes reflect who I am and it feels great. Since I recently graduated from ‘domestic engineer’ to domestic goddess at the ripe old age of 50, with our youngest now out of the house at school and time to devote myself fully to my business, I’ve acquired black leather jeans, and the playfulness that it takes to wear them with confidence!
I love hearing it, Donna! If you decide to hit the extreme and get a tattoo or motorcycle to go with those leather jeans, please share photos!